how many tears have to flow before the hurt disappears.
i feel so lost and sad without you, but i know we had issues that were not going away.
i miss the old us, the happy us, with no cares or worries.
i dunno how we will be friends. but i want to be.
but every look, touch and hug will never be enough. because i had it all with you.
without you it hurts, but with you hurts exactly the same.
i wish i had a map that told me what to do in this situation.
your acting like you want me back, like its all going to be the same. but i know your never gonna ask me back and i cant say i'd be able to say yes.
i hate this, i want to rewind and live in the past, because my present is nothing without you.

i need to stand on my own two feet, but every time i try to, you just push me back down

Good post, it's like the one before with synonyms.
Obviously I am not ready to deal with 'this'.

alright you say to stop whinging. okay lets all stop. but lets look at the facts yeah?

take everything out of this equation and look at this friendship for what it is.

we have so much going on in our lives and we can't be there for every little thing.

we have to stop blaming each other for not making an effort and start putting a little in, all of us, put your pride aside and step up.

no-one likes to admit that their in the wrong and to be honest not one of us is doing the right thing. we all blame each other, push each other aside, say things that cross the lines we orginally established and we have entered a place none of us knows if we can get out of.

so instead of whining and crying and bitching and thinking this is all over lets get real.

"get over ourselves" and really think if our whole past is worth sacrificing.

because if it is, lets admit it now and put an end to this shit. because our lives are getting harder, life is getting more complex and one day we may need to turn to each other and this friendship will no longer exist.

none of us wants negativity in our lives, its the last thing we want. so back down, let your defenisve walls down and push your pride aside, be vulnerable and be ready to get hurt. because we already are.

nobody said it was easy,
but noone ever said it would be so hard,
i'm going back to the start.



*fuck, stop wondeirng why we're friends anymore and put some fucking effort in. we had bad times in school and we'll have bad times now. but the difference is we saw each other back then and we had to face up and get over it. some of us need to lose our pride, hell I need to lose my pride. if some of you don't want this anymore than fine. but if you do at least have the nerve to fight for it instead of letting it go and being all self righteous and shit. its funny how some of us lost trust and faith in eachother so quick, when not so long ago we all had eachothers backs all the time through everything. i've made mistakes and you threee have made mistakes too. and imperfections, i think we know eachothers better than anyone else. but i'm sick of the judgement, the lack of effort and the whingeness. if you're wondering why we're still friends and you dont' care then fuck off and stop whinging about it on here. but if you want to still be friends than try. we'll never be like what we were in highschool, we can be better or we can be worse, but not the same. so make a damn decision and stop whining about how different we all are, because we were always different.

it is when we have run out of time, of trust, of heart, of empathy and sympathetic gestures, and effort and care. that the ones you were will disappear. the shock will radiate through the outer rings, but the ones at the heart won't feel a thing.

sometimes i wonder why we are even friends anymore.

I'm losing you and it's effortless

looks like people change, or maybe im just seeing them for who they truly are.

i hate leaches.
i especially hate leaches who are also massive skanks.
i really really really hate leachy skanks who cant back the fuck off.

I just wanna shop shop shop...
Till I drop drop drop...

dear loving, darling boyfriend,

i dont mind sharing with you, but when it comes to your cold i really didn't want to share that :(
i was healthy 24 hours ago! :( in sickness and in health right?
anyway hope your feeling better as your cold has been transferred over to me.

love always xxx

Being with all of you is constantly remembering the very worst of myself

you make plans with me and then you don't show up.

you act like those plans were non-existant

you don't call to say you've made plans with some-one else and i constantly find myself waiting around for you and putting my life on hold.

just fucking tell me what your doing so i can make plans with my friends and not feel like shit when you turn around and say on the odd occasion you remeber "oh i thought we had plans, you dogged me"..

I can't remember if this has been posted here before or not but...

best. harry. potter. tribute. ever.

As time goes on, you’ll understand. What lasts, lasts; what doesn’t, doesn’t. Time solves most things. And what time can’t solve, you have to solve yourself.

So avoid using the word ‘very’ because it’s lazy. A man is not very tired, he is exhausted. Don’t use very sad, use morose. Language was invented for one reason, boys - to woo women - and, in that endeavour, laziness will not do. It also won’t do in your essays.Dead Poets Society (1989)

I lay awake at night,

and i sit at my table,

thinking of the fights,

making a nook of cable.

I'll somehow make it up,

i'll try, i'll try, i'll try.

but lately ive been stuck.

fix things that i don't know why,

running a desperate circle.

I did, I did, I did.

oh my dear I need a miracle.

the girl i was i'll rid.

Need to change for you,

because i was a worser friend,

before its you i lose.

yours hearts of gold, i'll try to mend.

the lines are read a to c, a to c throughout, then b to d and so on and on.

And I'm good, good, good to go
I got to get away
Get away from all of my mistakes

So here I sit looking at the traffic lights
The red extinguishes the hope that the green ignites
I want to run away I want to ditch my life
Cause all of my mistakes keep me awake at night

And after all of my alibis desert me
I just want to get by
I don't want nothing to hurt me
I had no idea where my head was at
But if my heart says I'm sorry can we leave it at that
Because I just want for all of this to end

And I so hate consequences
And running from you is what my best defense is
Consequences
Oh God, don't make me face up to this
And I so hate consequences
And running from you is what my best defense is
Cause I know that I let you down
And I don't want to deal with that

It just now hit me this is more than just a set back
And when you spelled it out, well, I guess I didn't get that
And every trace of momentum is gone
And this isn't turning out the way I want

And after all of my alibis desert me
I just want to get by
I don't want nothing to hurt me
I had no idea where my head was at
But if my heart says I'm sorry can we leave it at that
Because I just want for all of this to end

And I spent all last night
Tearing down
Every stoplight
And stop sign in this town
Now I think there might
Be no way to stop me now
I'll get away despite
The fact I'm so weighed down

All of my escapes have been exhausted
I thought I had a way but then I lost it
And my resistance was once much stronger
And I know I can't go on like this much longer

When I got tired of running from you
I stopped right there to catch my breath
There your words they caught my ears
You said, "I miss you son. Come home"
And my sins, they watched me leave
And in my heart I so believed
The love you felt for me was more than
The love I'd wished for all this time
And when the doors were closed
I heard no I told so's
I said the words I knew you knew
Oh God, Oh God I needed you
God all this time I needed you, I needed you

And I so hate consequences
And running from you is what my best defense is
I hate these consequences
Because I know that I let you down
Now I don't wanna deal with that

Now I see you, til kingdom come
You're the one I want
To see me for all the stupid shit I've done

life works in mysterious ways, they say everything happens for a reason.

but why this? why this happening at this point in time?

why cant we all be happy and loving and together?

why does something have to ruin a good thin, friendship, relationship.

ive had my taste of life and its rotten not sweet, i miss childhood, naivety, innocence

life is shit, love is shitter, passion is overrated, nothing seems worthit anymore,

because your ever good enough, too far behind, to far infront, not on the ball, a loser, a whimp, soft, pussy, a bitch, a skank, a slut, a nerd, a workaholic, net her, not him. not what i thought, not who i wanted, youve become the one thing i hate, the essence of all that is sad and depressing.

if only they warned you this before you gather the childhood dreams, hopes and aspirations. because now is when its al crushed into an oblivion and cast out into the fields of forgotten dreams and swept under the carpet of never ending heartache and disappointment.

Fuck I love the naked and famous there is just something about them that encompasses the whole experience ofbeing young

We're only young and naive still.
We require certain skills.
The mood it changes like the wind
Hard to control when it begins.

The bittersweet between my teeth,
Trying to find the in-between
Fall back and love eventually

Can't help myself but count the flaws,
Claw my way out through these walls.
One temporary escape.
Feel it start to permeate.

We lie beneath the stars at night.
Our hands gripping eachother tight.
You keep my secrets hope to die.
Promises, swear them to the sky.

The bittersweet between my teeth,
Trying to find the in-between
Fall back and love eventually

As it withers
Brittle it shakes
Can you whisper
As it crumbles and breaks.
As you shiver,
Count up all your mistakes
Pair of forgivers.
Let go before it's too late.
Can you whisper?
Can you whisper?
Can you whisper?
Can you whisper?

i think im depressed

i need a new passion

I GOT TO PRETEND WHEN I WALK OUT THE DOOR, THAT I DON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE

“You should live your life. You should write your name on the earth in gasoline and just, like light that shit on fire.”

like everyone reckless and young in the world, like everyone trying to escape something, something unbeknown to the rest, something different, they have friends like these. friends that fill them up, that wrap them round, that keep them in their jean pocket. they've seen eachother's beds, held eachother's hair, shared a joint, had a shot, punched a face, told a lie, kept a secret, just hated the sound of one another's voice, that are constantly intoxicated with alcohol, love, hate and a heaviness inflicted by the world on the young, they are fucked in the head and fucked in the heart. And from the outside it seems so rosy, but from the inside it ain't that warm and cosy. with a closeness so tighly knit, comes underlying pain, and grudges that will stand the test of time, they are the winks that shouldn't have seen the sky, the words that never should have left your mouth and the words that did and hang in the air around us, buzzing in your ears. and as we're standing here, half of us screaming, some of us crying and the rest with clenched fists and bloody bodies. everyone else finally sees the real. that we are all just broken pieces stuck together with some glue. a few drops in our past, has lost a few pieces but a few more could cause this thing we call friends to be no more.

i miss the mundane
the normal
i just want that back again

I need to find my way back in.
I want to leave but if I leave now,
I'll never find this ever
again

omg im turning 18 omg! oh Yeah!

Im just a fucked-up girl looking for a peace of mind.

Ruin is the road to transformation and
Quite frankly my dear I am ruined

How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one, but the lightbulb has to want to change.

Just quietly, Dallas Green is probably one of the funniest, most talented musicians I've ever seen in my life.

I need to escape, there is nothing I have found here that is making me want to stay.

I'm....
i dont know....

...

I'm numb

I always knew I'd be the one who lost direction.
That would choke and trip and stumble,
That would be empty of motivation
That would be too hard for someone to handle.
Not enough for someone to want.
Not smart enough to understand
Not strong enough to stay standing upright.
Easily forgotten
Easily looked over
Easily ignored

I
Need
To
Find
My
Way

smoke like a fire
drink like a fish
hope like im broke
think like im rich

Enter the first
And what he took
He started you up
With just one look

Opened up your head
And Stumbled on in
Looked you in the eyes
With a beautifully crooked grin

Tossed back your covers
And pushed back your hair
Too good to be true
Skin warm and bare

Took what he needed
Gone as soon as he came
Tears flooding the stage
Screams calling his name

Time finally healed but
Second was worse
Eyes that twinkled brighter than stars
More charming than the first

Used up your memories
Touched off where he left
Cause he really knew you
You sunk into the magic chest

His laugh filled you up
His flirting made you mad
His taunts pulled your heart strings
Even then you knew it was bad

Heartbreak again
Third followed quick
Two circled back for more
The inconsiderate prick

Like sharks to the blood
Each kept coming back for more
A bit of a chew or a taste
But the whole thing was a chore

again blogging from work coz im bored

your words like knives that slice my bare flesh,
your gaze like needles, pricking every pore upon my body,
your lips like poison, killing me with every kiss,
you touch like bullets piercing my skin on entry,
your killing me, and you dont even care.

im blogging from work!

A kiss is just a kiss,
I think that's what fools say?
But that is what this is?
Have I been a fool? Just say!

Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano

That's the best revenge of all: Happiness.

Nothing drives people crazier than seeing someone having a fucking good life.

In the end you realize your all alone.
Your heart is weightless,
All those you loved are gone.
You've lost your nerve to speak,
The cold shatters your bones
And your eyes they tire and leak.
Curled up in bed waiting for a call,
That we both know will never come,
You wrap yourself tighter as you fall.
In the moonlight I thought it was you,
But the mind plays tricks,
Because come for me you'd never do.
And as the shadows taunt you from afar,
You remember that last kiss by his car,
Remember the friends who brought you this far,
Those laughs and secrets shared at the bar.
Who knew you'd become this hopeless,
So needy, so lonely,
Now such a crumbled mess.



How did it take this long?
To realize noone,
Will miss you when you're gone?

life is messy,
people within our lives make it messier.
one thing ive learnt from this is, honesty is the only way for communication to occur.
friends will always stick by you and you need to do the same for them.
your one and only will always stick by you one way or another, and its the small sacrifices you both make to bet with one another that will either make or break you.
life is messy, but who wants to be clean anyway? the mess we go through defines who we are and helps us become who we will be.
without it, we are left more messed up than with it.
so i raise my glass to a messy second, minute, hour, day, week, month, year and lifetime. enjoy the highs and prepare for the lows. together we can all be messy together :)

Seems like everybody’s got a price,
I wonder how they sleep at night.
When the tale comes first,
And the truth comes second,
Just stop, for a minute and
Smile

i'm stuck in a rut, no direction, no idea, no life.
a rut, without excitement, feeling or emotion.
i crumble, disintergrate, diminish. A rut.
i am uninspired, unprotected, uninterested.
a rut. out of love, out of hope out of luck. a rut..